Healthy Relationships, Marriage

Illusions of Intimacy – What Intimacy is and What it Isn’t

May 13, 2014

intimacyThe Real Glue In Marriage

The real glue in marriage is an emotional connection that’s sustained through a thousand little touches…

It’s calling in the middle of the day just to ask, “How’s your day going?”

It’s how you part ways in the morning and greet each other at the end of the day.

It’s whether you still hug and how you go to bed.

It’s how you listen to each other talk about dreams, joys, and fears.

It’s your hand on his shoulder when you walk past him and the three seconds that turns a perfunctory kiss into a real one.

It’s the willingness to drop something important just to ride together to the grocery store.

The real glue in marriage isn’t how we resolve conflict. It’s the underlying connection that makes conflict worth resolving.

You don’t need to be highly romantic or put on the perfect Valentine’s dinner. You just need to love her by putting her above yourself and staying connected, even when your feelings aren’t there.

One night, after the kids are in bed, light a candle, play some music, and turn your fried chicken dinner into a romantic evening at your own dinner table.

Have some couch time for a few minutes each evening.

Turn off the TV, put the phones away, and talk.

Leave a card somewhere when it’s not a holiday.

Hug once a day.

After a while you’ll find that the little things are the big things!

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