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Featured Posts, Healing, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Formation

Your Past is Your Most Common and Hidden Adversary

May 25, 2014

past pain

“Behold, I am making all things new!” —Jesus

 “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” —Mark Twain


Two opposing viewpoints, right? So, which one will it be?
You’ve got several options when it comes to the brokenness in your family tree.

You can excuse it, “She did the best she could under the circumstances.”
You can ignore it, “Nothing good comes from digging up the past.”
You can resist it, “I’ll never be like them!”
Or, you can courageously face it and choose to forgive, “God, help me see my family and past as You see it and allow your grace to heal and transform it.”

Brandon and Michaela had each heard hundreds of sermons. But when they got married four years ago, there were deep, entrenched parts of their souls that were untouched by the power and grace of Jesus. Somehow, two biblical truths had managed to evade them:

  • The blessings and sins of our families going back a couple generations profoundly impact us today.
  • Discipleship requires putting off the sinful patterns of our family of origin and relearning how to do life God’s way.

The real idea behind generational curses in the Old Testament is more of an observation than a spiritual law: sin naturally spreads until there is a deliberate break. I give what I’ve received and I withhold what was withheld from me. The break happens when I say, “I see this now for what it really is and I don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t want it to be a part of me and I certainly don’t want to inadvertently pass it on to my kids. So, I need to name it, forgive it, and then step fully into a new beginning through the grace of God.”

Breaking generational patterns requires 3 deliberate steps: Continue Reading…

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Featured Posts, Healing, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Formation

What To Do If You’re Emotionally Constipated

May 15, 2014

childlike copy

Life has a way of deadening our emotions. Pain and disappointment chip away at our childlike enthusiasm and hope until our most common feeling is simply “numb.” Remember as a child how you lived unencumbered by all that weighs you down today?

There was no morbid self-consciousness. There wasn’t a trace of timidity. Your head and heart were connected and you weren’t jaded, disillusioned, or bitter.

Ready to feel alive again? Continue Reading…

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Marriage, Relationships

Illusions of Intimacy – What Intimacy is and What it Isn’t

May 13, 2014

intimacyThe Real Glue In Marriage

The real glue in marriage is an emotional connection that’s sustained through a thousand little touches…

It’s calling in the middle of the day just to ask, “How’s your day going?”

It’s how you part ways in the morning and greet each other at the end of the day.

It’s whether you still hug and how you go to bed.

It’s how you listen to each other talk about dreams, joys, and fears.

It’s your hand on his shoulder when you walk past him and the three seconds that turns a perfunctory kiss into a real one.

It’s the willingness to drop something important just to ride together to the grocery store.

The real glue in marriage isn’t how we resolve conflict. It’s the underlying connection that makes conflict worth resolving.

You don’t need to be highly romantic or put on the perfect Valentine’s dinner. You just need to love her by putting her above yourself and staying connected, even when your feelings aren’t there.

One night, after the kids are in bed, light a candle, play some music, and turn your fried chicken dinner into a romantic evening at your own dinner table.

Have some couch time for a few minutes each evening.

Turn off the TV, put the phones away, and talk.

Leave a card somewhere when it’s not a holiday.

Hug once a day.

After a while you’ll find that the little things are the big things!

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