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Healing Scriptures for Relationships

July 11, 2014

marriage quotes

Sometimes, we just need to get alone and meditate on healing Scriptures and encouraging words.

Anywhere you are during the day can become a type of sanctuary. The Spirit of God is within you, so your SUV, your shower, your walk-in closet, or the laundry room can instantly become a place of worship and meditation. Really, anywhere you are can be a holy sanctuary. All you have to do is recognize that God is with you and take a minute to turn aside to Him.

Below, I’ve compiled some encouraging words and healing Scriptures for marriage and relationships. One of my favorite quotes from Oswald Chambers is, “The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain. This is all God asks us to give our attention to and it is the one thing that is continually under attack.”

Read these healing Scriptures, meditate on them, commit them to memory. Write them out, share them, tweet them.

“The Words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” —John 6:63

Healing Scriptures for Marriage and Relationships

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. —Galatians 5:22-23

 

 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. —Ephesians 4:31-32

 

 

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. —Colossians 3:12-14

 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. —Ephesians 4:29

 

 

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails. —1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

healing scriptures

 

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Healing, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Formation

Your Greatest Enemy In Conflict

July 1, 2014

Remember who the real enemy is.”

It’s one of the most haunting lines from the second Hunger Games movie. Probably because the truth in that line hits us so profoundly. It bothers us how quickly and completely we can forget and allow our perception to become skewed the minute conflict strikes.

remember who the enemy is

Relationship Problems…

Your spouse does something inconsiderate, but it’s not the first time. You’re hurt but you don’t want to say, “That hurt my feelings.” Instead, you speak harshly, emotionally withdraw, or both. The conflict escalates until the peacemaker in the relationship offers a repair attempt and then you’re back to normal.

Like wheels that fall into ruts on a well-worn dirt path, your relationship probably has ruts that you naturally slide into when a conflict rises.

The other day, Bonnie and I had a small “disruption,” and I chose the emotional withdrawal approach. As soon as we get into bed, I turn my back to her and offer a disingenuous “good night.” I then start to think about all the comforting reasons why truth was on my side.

Bonnie then puts her hand on my shoulder, pulls me over to face her, and starts to kiss my arm without saying a word. In this instance, I was the one who should have made a repair attempt, not her. I was the one who overreacted, she didn’t even have anything to apologize for. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t going to allow pride to get in the way of love.

Our greatest enemy in conflict isn’t the other person, it’s our own pride. That is a wall that we must be ruthless to recognize and to tear down.

Pride insidiously masquerades as truth.

Pride, not truth, is what escalates and perpetuates conflicts.

God’s love however, is not self-seeking and it doesn’t insist on it’s own way.

It doesn’t wait for the offending party to make everything right before it’s offered again.

The problem is that we seldom recognize our own pride.

Are You Struggling With Pride?

Here’s a quick litmus test:

  • Are you quick to repent?
  • Do you forgive those who sin against you?
  • Do those who know you best occasionally confront you with your sin and in response, you acknowledge it, repent, and strive to strengthen the relationship?
  • Are most of your relationships healthy or, when you look behind you, are there a lot of broken relationships left in your wake?

If you’re slow to repent, struggle to forgive people, and live with a lot of broken relationships, truth is not on your side. Jesus elevates reconciliation higher than worship (Matthew 5) and Paul reminds us that, “knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.”

In the wisdom literature (Proverbs, Job, Ecclesiastes), one of the clearest distinguishing factors between wisdom and foolishness is how we respond to correction.

pride

If our posture isn’t humble and we don’t practice regular repentance, there’s a good chance that our view of God is just a glorified version of ourselves.

Tear down your pride before your pride tears down another relationship!

That night, Bonnie loved me by first setting aside her pride. I didn’t say it at the time, but it made me want to love her the same way the next time we’re in a conflict. It’s a thousand reasons like this that the apostle Paul writes that such love, “does not fail.”

love never fails

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Featured Posts, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Formation

Who’s Really Your Teen’s Parent?

June 6, 2014

intentional parenting

You or her friends?

It’s an easy trap to fall into. Your teen wants more independence and, for the most part, you want to give it. You don’t want to be the controlling parent that teens rebel against. She projects an air of responsibility and her friends seem pretty normal, so you let her have her space… And let’s face it —you’re tired.
You’re tired of fighting, tired of being labeled the “only one who doesn’t…” and sometimes, just plain tired.

Of course, the underlying conflict is that she wants independence at a rate that exceeds her desire or readiness for responsibility. But try to explain this correlation and her eyes roll back into her head as she thinks, “She doesn’t get it!” “She doesn’t understand or trust me!”

So, you finally relent and allow her peer culture to assume the authority role over her life.

It doesn’t feel that way at first and it certainly isn’t intentional, but it’s practically what happens. When you really stop to calculate where time is spent, and think about her primary sources of influence, it’s easy to feel like you’re letting go of the reigns sooner than you’d like, and sooner than you should.

What do you do? Continue Reading…

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Healing, Relationships, Spiritual Formation

Have You Ever Felt Like it Was All Unraveling?

June 1, 2014

unraveling

Sin complicates things. It sets things in motion.

Whether you have become bound by your own, or another’s sinfulness against you, the fact is, —here you are.

Bitterness. Anger. Pain. Despair.

Often, our lives end up in a twisted maze that we can’t make much sense of and we find ourselves in corners or dead ends, from which we see no way out. God must show up.

The Good News is —He does.

He pursues us tirelessly, with His limitless love. His healing love.

He promises to make the crooked paths straight, and to turn the most desperate, hidden and barren places in our lives into beautiful, fruitful fields.

The only requirement is our willingness to give Him the fragments of our lives and allow Him to begin to do His work.

“In Him, our will, intellect, imagination, feeling, and sensory being are hallowed and enlivened. We begin to fully live, to participate in the eternal, the immutable, the indestructible.”  —The Healing Presence, LeAnne Payne

Continue Reading…

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Featured Posts, Healing, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Formation

Will Your Teenager’s Faith Stick?

May 29, 2014

種まき

The short answer of course, is that there’s no guarantee. The more you try to co-opt her will, the more likely she is to resist it. But there are certainly some proven ways to cultivate good soil that make spiritual growth more likely.

Tending to soil is good imagery for parenting adolescence because it helps remind us of what we can and can’t do. We can spend a great deal of time, getting our hands dirty, carefully monitoring health, and creating a nutrient rich environment for growth. We can’t however, create growth itself.

What are some of the ways we can create healthy soil for our teenager’s spiritual growth?

Live a vibrant and authentic life of faith before their eyes

Give them a front row seat to your relationship with God. Share your areas of growth and your struggles (when appropriate). Let them see how important your faith is and how it’s not only changing you, but impacting the world around you. Bring them with you when you serve and pray for others. They need to see the vitality beyond the responsibility. Don’t fear failures in the right direction, God’s grace is sufficient. Just steer clear of hypocrisy, your child will see right through it and it’s far more damaging to his faith than if you were an atheist.

Help him connect to the Father and not just “say his prayers”

It’s the birthright of every child of God to hear his Father’s voice. We need to teach our children the lesson of Samuel–the posture of, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.” Prayer is one of the most important areas where faith needs to be individualized. More than a great deal of knowledge or even high levels of service, a child’s ability to hear from the Lord is a great predictor of a faith that will stick.

Your family doesn’t shrink from hard questions

You don’t hide from the world or detach from difficult conversations. In fact, you initiate them at the dinner table. You ask good questions, share what you’re learning and how you respond to hard questions with grace and humility.

Be a learner

Teens can’t talk to know it all parents, so let him see that you’re a learner. Don’t be an alarmist when your child is expressing crazy thoughts. Keep your composure and make sure he feels heard, understood, and validated. It’s ok if you need to hyperventilate later.

You exercise discernment in exposing your child’s faith to testing

Jesus was ready when he went into the wilderness to be tempted. As parents, we need to guard our children’s influences carefully and discern the difference between a healthy stress test and simply setting them up for failure. Keep the end in mind and remember that you’re raising up an adult, not a child, but go carefully as you expose them to competing influences and temptations. Fear and naiveté are opposing errors in this dance. If your child’s faith is weak, limit damaging influences, and seek ways to shore it up. Open and honest dialogue is paramount here.

Live as a family on mission

This is really what I mean by “bringing them with you.” Read the Scriptures and pray together. Serve your community together. Let them find meaningful ways to contribute to God’s work in your church and city. We tend to minimize the effect of family on faith and exaggerate the influence of an hour at church.

I once thought that the time requirement of parenting decreases as a child gets older. Not true! We often underestimate our influence as parents and delegate our role too quickly and to too many people. Keep the word “disciple” in view when you discipline and it will help keep the end in mind.

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