If your child is smart, the worst thing you can do is tell him! Most parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart–85% according to a Columbia University study. Our assumption is, “If kids think they’re smart, they’ll try harder and perform better.” However, extensive research over the last 15 years suggests that it can actually backfire.
In the movie Parental Guidance, the paternal grandparents come to visit and discover that the kids never engage in a competition where they could lose. “It would damage their self-esteem.” The grandparents protest, “No, it’s how they learn!” Recent research sides with the grandparents: excessive praise and protecting children from moderate amounts of failure and pain can hinder growth rather than foster it. Continue Reading…
